🎯 The Goal: The first 4-6 weeks of dating are a free trial period where people show you who they are — most heartbreak comes from ignoring the evidence. Learning to read early signals saves you months (or years) with the wrong person.
🚩 Step 1: Watch actions, not words. Anyone can SAY the right things. Track the behavior pattern instead: Do they follow through on small plans? Do they text back in a consistent rhythm or vanish for days? Someone who is inconsistent at week 3 will be inconsistent at year 3.
🚩 Step 2: Run the 'Waiter Test' and the 'Ex Test'. Watch how they treat people who can't do anything for them — servers, drivers, their mom. Then listen to how they describe their exes: if EVERY ex is 'crazy', the common denominator is sitting across from you.
✅ Step 3: Collect green flags on purpose. The big ones: they ask follow-up questions about your life, they apologize without being cornered, they're consistent when it's inconvenient, they have friendships older than 2 years, and your energy goes UP after seeing them, not down.
📋 The Cheat Sheet: After each of the first 5 dates, score these 5 questions Yes/No: 1. Did they do what they said they would? 2. Did I talk about as much as they did? 3. Were they kind to a stranger? 4. Do I feel calmer around them, not anxious? 5. Did they respect a 'no'? Four or more Yes = keep going. Two or less = walk away now, not in six months.